Saturday, February 3, 2007

Starting on Left Wing...

Would it sound kinda sad if I stated that one of the reasons I just started a blog was to play along in games like this? It would? Oh... then that is definitely NOT a reason then...

And thanks to Kyle for the tag (which I essentially begged for)...

Team: The Calgary Flames!!!




Uniform number: Much like Jes Golbez, I also wear number 75 (I have no idea why, but for some reason its my favourite number)...

Position: Left Wing (obviously, from the title...). I actually play pretty much every position, but if I'm playing for the Flames I want Kipper in net and Iggy on my right wing. I lack the size for NHL defence, and the faceoff abilities for center...

Nickname: Uh, stonehands? Mr. Butterfingers? Of course, in typical NHL fashion, it would probably be Smitty...

Dream linemates: Iggy, obviously, and Joey Nieuwendyk.

Rounding out the PP: Theoren Fleury and Dion Phaneuf. I realize that having Theo out there would probably cut the PP short, but he is one of my all-time favourite players. Mind you, between the two of us, we would really bring down the average height of the line. And Iggy would be dropping back to the point with Dion...

Job: Aggravating the other team, drawing penalties...


Signature move: Speeding up the outside before crossing into the middle and forcing the opposing defenceman to wrap me up before I get by him. Thus causing a penalty, or if I get past him, a breakaway or penalty shot...

Strengths: My mind-blowing speed, using my small size to evade defenders, my passing abilities...

Weaknesses: My ridiculously bad aim and my lack of a slapshot...

Injury problems: Potential for concussions from getting banged around so much...

Equipment: Whatever the highest bidder wants to suit me up in (its all about the Benjamins... err... Sir Robert Bordens...)...





Nemesis: The Oilers, obviously... playerwise, Ed Jovanovski from his Canuck days... or Mattias Ohlund... I can't stand those guys...

Scandal involvement: Taking off my skate and trying to stab a guy with it... oh wait, that's Happy Gilmore... Uhm, getting extremely drunk with Eddy Belfour and throwing up all over the night club and the bouncers when they tried to throw us out... And fighting with them... And then throwing up in the police car on the way to the police station... Before being forced to go into rehab by the league and my team... But all in the off-season, as I wouldn't drink nearly as much during the season and would probably be nearly dry during the playoffs...

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: The Montreal Canadiens, so we could win it in their house again!

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Gee, I'm sure you probably all saw this coming, but filling it with alcohol and getting drunk in the dressing room... And then when I have my two days I'd take it back home to Haliburton and take it to the bar (yes, there is only one real bar)... Spending the daytime at my huge cottage with all my friends getting drunk around it... Yes, it would appear that I may have a problem...

Would the media love me or hate me: I'm pretty sure that the media outside of Calgary and Haliburton would hate me... I'd pretty much be like Theoren Fleury reborn, without all the demons and the fact that I'm a pleasant drunk...


I'll tag Sean over at Sea of Red, as I don't know who else hasn't been tagged yet...

3 comments:

MetroGnome said...

heh...great screencaps.

Steal Thunder said...

I actually played that game just for that reason. If I was even more of a geek, I probably would have updated the lineups for even more satisfaction in destroying the Greasers 17-3, but I'll take what I got... ; )

First star #75 Randy Smith of the Calgary Flames : )

Yeah, sometimes I think that I really need to get a life, lol...

Kyle said...

Yes! You kept my faith in humanity alive!